Snow

I love snow.  It's pretty, fluffy and magical.  But I do not like when it decides to snow when we're on our way to Minnesota for Christmas.  I do not want to go in the ditch again.  I want to make it home in less than 8 hours and I don't want to be stressed the whole drive.  Boo snow.  Stay away till about 7 or 8 tonight.  Thank you.

Paper/Finals

So I originally thought I had my whole week planned out very well in order to get the ultimate amount of studying in and get this (used to be 22 pages but is now 12-15) paper done.  Except now I'm freaking out.  I will be living at the library from tonight until Friday.  Oh well.  That's what aderol is for.

Books

I had to spend $500 on textbooks this semester.  Do you know how much I will be able to sell them back for? $100.  That's a 1/5 of the price.  They will be able to use most if not all of the books next semester so really they're making another $300-400 on some other schmuck who has to buy them in order to attend classes.  I hate college.

Excited

Is it weird that I'm excited to clean my apartment tonight?  The only reason I am is because I get to put up Christmas decorations afterwards.  And I'm going to make a warm delicious dinner and it's going to snow like crazy which makes me super happy.  Our little tree we have is kinda sad right now.  I also need to put my letters I've written into envelopes and mail them soon... Probably tonight.

Address me as "Your Highness or Your majesty"

I am (for the third year now) the queen of my horse club.  Which is definitely my last year.  I have had a blast and it's amazing to talk to so many people about the organization.  But this queen is hanging up her sash and passing on the crown after this year.

I really really really wish my parents just had several thousand dollars laying around to send me to the Worlds Competition.  I really hate that other girls parents can just give them a chunk of money like that to go and compete.  Oh well.  My new goal this year is to get the other royalty very excited to keep being royalty and to show other members that it's a blast and that they should think about doing it as well.

And I'll definitely co-chair the royalty next year to be able to keep the girls involved and excited.  I hope that all the work I put in pays off.  It'd be a really big treat for me to see the royalty grow and continue in our club and it started with me (sort of).

This semester

This is what my semester is boiling down to at this point:
Poli Sci 401
          Anywhere from a B to an A since the paper is worth a ridiculous amount and we only had one test which I got an AB on.

Poli Sci 470
           Most likely a C.  Which blows.  Hopefully I can do really good on the final and maybe sneak out with the BC or B.

Golf
       It's Pass/Fail.  Only mass incompetence at my part on the Final exam will prevent me from getting a P.

Women's Health
      An AB or an A, it's so easy to BS my way through this class.  It's all about being uber upset about the incompetence of society (men) to treat women equally.

Not awful.  I'll live.  And law school will happen.  It just depends on where.

Brain + Motivation= Good Grades

So Thanksgiving break was supposed to restore my motivational levels and instead they seem to have depleted into nothingness.  My brain has decided it will not concentrate on anything other than reading for fun.  How am I going to get back in the swing before finals?  I wish there was a button.  Or something to drink, like Motivation by Pepsi.

Babies and Stuff

I've been thinking about kids a lot lately.  Not that I'm at all ready for them.  Just thinking about why people have kids.  Why society wants us to have them.  The pressure of society to have them.

My cousin has kids but does he deserve them? His little boy Alex is so bright and so quizzical and I just want to save him from the mess his parents life is.  I hope that help from other family members will balance out his life and give him the help he needs to succeed.

I hate to think that people have children and can't care for them.  There should be a test or something.  Or at least mandatory classes on how to raise children.  I'm not saying everyone needs to raise their children the same just with guidelines for parents.  Like: Vegetables are important, Fruit, Grain, etc.  Feed them correctly.  Play with them, read to them.  All of these things seem basic to me but so few kids get all this.  I look at how advanced Kellyn is at a year and a half to how far behind Alex is at a year older than her.

I wish I could help them.  Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it.

Body Image

You know what scares me?

That Doves "True Women" Ad campaign is one of the only advertisement campaigns that use women of natural beauty (not the 5'8" or taller at 120 lb.s or less) models.

Barbie scares me too.

You must be above this height (about 4" taller than the average woman) with a 12" waist and 38" boobs.  If not?
Well you just aren't worth our time.

I hate the ideals which are placed on women and men to conform to images that are unhealthy and have nothing to do with why people are attractive.

Have you ever watched shows like the Dallas Cowboys or America's next top model?

A perfectly thin girl is criticized and told horrible things about her body because she has the pooch in her stomach which is natural. THAT'S WHERE BABIES GO!  Now there is a trend of overweight Americans but eating healthy and not eating at all are two very important differences in what body image should be about.

Women of African decent are curvy.  It's sexy.  Deal with it!

White women are not all blonde 5'9" blue eyed super models.  Deal with it!

Hispanic women also have curves and they are sexy as well.

Girls with a big nose or a big booty and big thighs is not unattractive.  She's gorgeous.  What is wrong with people?

AFA and the Holiday Boycott

"For Gap to pretend that isn't the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst."


The foundation of the Christmas Season was first Pagan and then Jewish before it was Christian.  You are all idiots. 

Government compelled subsidy/speech

So there was this Con Law case

Johanns v. Livestock Marketing Ass.

The basic facts are that the respondents claim that the message which the govt was promoting with "Beef, it's what's for dinner" with the tag being "America's Beef Producers" made this ad a non-governmental speech and that making beef producers pay fees to support this actually hurts them and their own advertising.  The court says this is obviously governmental speech because the ad was paid for by the aforementioned fund which came about via the Beef Promotion and Research Act under the Department of Agriculture.

WHAT?

Not only is it stated in the ad but why is the government promoting beef? Not just American beef but just beef.

Now there was dissent by Souter, Stevens and Kennedy but still.  No one stepped back and went why is this govt speech? I know that the court is not interested in legislative motive but I can not believe that Scalia believed this was an all out govt message. No way.  Anyone seeing the commercial would not have known it was paid for by subsidies by the govt.

Sometimes decisions like this make me want to bang my head against a wall. I am not proof reading this because I have stuff to do so this may be deleted by tomorrow evening if I come back and read and realize it doesn't make any sense.  Just an FYI if anyone actually reads my blog.

Insomnia

I have insomnia.  It's back again.

There are about 6 cops across the street from my apartment and earlier I thought I heard gun shots? Weird.

Also, I wish I could sleep.

Also, I hate classes, I hate school, I hate worrying about law school/lsat/life while in law school.  I'm tired and rambling quite well.

Also, using also a lot.

I hope I do well in my classes this semester.  I mean first amendment is down the drain with my first exam but maybe I can somewhat get by with Third parties and women's health... maybe? Whatever..

I have a busy schedule tomorrow which means I should be sleeping but instead here I sit, in the living room typing this blog and trying to read some cases... Also, French website won't work so I can't do my french homework... Sad day... I want to do my french homework and can't. That's weird.  Oh well.

I hope I actually get classes for next semester.  I have it all worked out but who knows what will happen.  Grr.

Today

So this was some of the strangeness of my day/week.

First, earlier this week I got the worst possible grade ever (but not an F) on my constitutional law test.  It was brutal.  I felt sick.

Second, yesterday I got an amazing grade on my Women's health paper.

Third, I had a horrid migraine last night and felt like crap all day today.

Apres, I had a meeting with my one of my profs to get into a class next semester.  As I walked out my back door I saw my car which had the under part of the bumper falling off.  I have no idea how that happened.

Then I went to the meeting had an amazing conversation with my prof and he let me into the class right away.  I didn't even have to wait till he interviewed with everyone.  (I'm SPECIAL!)

And then when I was walking Anna this afternoon I saw a man in a wheel chair fall right over off the sidewalk.  I ran across the street to help him and luckily another girl came out of her house right then and a guy driving stopped and helped too.  Poor guy had fallen off the sidewalk into a GIANT HOLE! It was like a foot deep. Luckily he was fine.

The boy who made me feel inadequate...

.... because he got (basically) excepted to a good law school without taking the LSAT now has to take the LSAT again.  It makes me happy. I'm a bad person.

Law School/Halloween

I have two completely unrelated topics I want to write about.

First, Halloween.  I love Halloween.  It's fall which is an amazing season.  Halloween is all about spooky/mysterious and unexplainable things.  And it's dressing up.  I was both a belly dancer and a badger this year (separately).  If I dressed up as either of those two things and went outside of my home on any other day I'd be pointed at and laughed at and possibly hauled away to the loony bin.

I feel as if there should be more dressing up in the world. Dressing up is fun and the people watching on Halloween is amazing.  I love costumes.  I love dressing up.

Second topic, Law School. Scary. SCARY! I know I want to be a lawyer.  I know that I will (eventually) achieve this.  But right now when I'm looking at my, not horrible but could be a lot better GPA and thinking about taking the LSAT and what I need to score to go where I want to go, that's scary.  I need to study for the LSAT more.  I need to take more practice tests.  I need to volunteer more. I'm looking for an internship for this summer (paid or otherwise).  I just worry that I won't get in.  Or I will only get into my fall back school.  What do I do then? I don't want to be miserable at a school because I have to go there... I'm not sure.... I worry about a lot of things a lot.  I need to just let it go and let life take me wherever.  Things will work out.  I'm working my butt off and I know that I'll be fine.

2 a.m.

I haven't had insomnia like this for a while. Oh well. Just spent three hours doing homework and looking around the internet instead of sleeping. Awesome. I have several new costume ideas for Halloween next year already.

Motivation

I have no idea how to motivate myself to get stuff done.  I have a ton of reading to finish tonight and French to study.

I am dreading getting my test and paper back from last week.

I need to make more effort but I feel like it never is enough.  And I always get so far behind at midterms then I have to fight so hard to get back on track.

Stupid "College" Kids

Some dumb things people have said/done that makes me question how they got into Madison.

Girl A: What is your G.P.A? Is it like your DARS and stuff? Or is it like grades?
Girl B: Idk, we should figure that out tonight.

T.A. yells at immature stupid kid in french class because he is not paying attention.  T.A. turns back and stupid kid in french class mimics her behind her back.

Just a few of the most recent and disturbing of incidences.  That is all.  I have lost faith in most of man kind.

Things I do for me

Dance all by myself in my room

Buy myself flowers

Eat cheese with a glass of wine when I get home from school

Throw/Kick leaves when walking

Things I think sometimes

I think that life sucks and it's never fair and nothing can change that.
Sometimes I wonder why we do stuff.

Why do I go to school?
Why am I working so hard on getting into law school?
Why do work?
Why don't I work?
Why do I want things?
Why do I think that I matter?
Why do I care about things?
Why do people do bad things?
Why are people mean?
Why does war happen?
Why does poverty happen?
Why capitalism?
Why communism?
Why death?
Why destruction?
Why...

Language

Kristine's experience with Italian children and my own French class makes me think maybe we should rethink how we learn a language.  Everyone should just learn the abc's, numbers, then start to read children's books, etc.   This is how people actually learn language.  Children's songs and books.  How much better would my life be if we learned this way.

Choice and Education

Here are several reasons why I support organizations like Planned Parenthood and the general sex education all children should receive.

Scenario one: Person A (either Girl or Guy you choose) decides to wait to have sex till marriage.  Person A meets Person B (again Guy or Girl) who has had sex in past but now wants to wait till marriage.  Does Person A know if Person B has an STD? Has Person B ever been tested for STDs? How does Person B know that they might have an STD?
             **IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX PEOPLE! IT'S ABOUT SAFETY!**

Scenario two: Person A is married to Person B. (As much as I vigorously oppose cheating and think it's the cowards way out of situations.)  Person A cheats on Person B.  What then?  Person A might have not only ruined trust but possibly their own health.

STDs aren't just from sex either.  You can be born with them if you're mother was infected.  A bad blood transfusion, making contact with someone who is bleeding.  An STD does not mean you slept around or are a big slut (either male or female).

An STD can happen to anyone and no one says "Hey I'd love an STD" so not knowing the signs/symptoms or the precautionary measures you have to take does not make you a more righteous person.  It makes you uninformed.

Abstinence is the only 100 percent way to stay free of STDs (by way of sex) or babies but it doesn't mean you aren't vulnerable.  

The World

The world is an unfair place.  I hate this about the world.  There is no karma.  Bad people do bad things and usually they get away with it.

I'm not entirely sure why good people do good things, lead good lives and get shit on usually by things.  Where as bad people do bad/really bad things and usually go unpunished.


Why?

This is partly why I believe in a legal system.  Justice.  But does it work when a girl is raped and her past sexual experiences are then drug up in order to discredit a legitimate rape?  I hope that I don't become jaded, I hope that I pursue the moral high ground in the face of these bad people... I hope I can.

Textbook or Erotica?

Sometimes reading my women's health book is.... distracting.

Others it's infuriating.

Right now is more of the first... Damn sex health articles on orgasms.  I swear this book is actually erotica disguised as a textbook.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel crazy.

I do know that I'm being unreasonable/crazy/hormonal/emotional. I can't help it. It's that time of the month i.e. crazy Jessica.

I'm not sure why. Whatever.

I miss my high school friends very much. I've been reading Becky's blog as of late and that makes me miss her even more. I should have done a better job of keeping in touch with people. I should have written letters or sent postcards or whatever.

That is my September resolution.

I refuse

I refuse to play stupid La Vida at my wedding... Gah am I sick of that song.

Plans

So all my well thought out plans to graduate a semester early are being questioned.

1. I lose my parents insurance (although we might be able to fudge this a bit to keep me good

till law school)

2. A job

unfortunately I don't know if I'd be able to keep working at the survey center and work enough to pay my rent, etc.

3. I'd have to take one summer course

Unfortunately some of my River Falls credits didn't transfer in as actual classes here. So I am behind in some of the Gen Ed Requirements

4. I could use my summer to do an unpaid internship

This goes with my above part, if I take a summer class an internship would be more difficult.

5. I can't start law school till Fall anyway...

6. Loan money

Ah how I hate thee world... I swear sometimes you are against me for a good laugh.

Next update: I will be discussing my law school choices and all of the hoops I must get to jumping through.

On another sad note, a boy I think is a total tool (who's parents pay for everything and has way too much good luck to be reasonable) was just basically accepted to a law school without having taken his LSAT. Why do people like that exist? Is it just to make me feel bad about my inadequacy?

The Strategy of Conflict

I'm learning about the strategy of conflict from a most dry and horrid book. I'm supposed to read 150 pages by tomorrow and that isn't going to happen but I still decided I needed to stop and write this.

Determent

We must deter those countries which feel it is necessary to create weapons of mass destruction.

We must deter North Korea, Iran, Iraq, etc... from creating nuclear arms.

And yet we have nuclear warheads.

"Do as I say not as I do"

This makes no sense. Especially in the sense of nuclear weapons which destroy massive amounts of living organisms and the results of the only attack from said nuclear weapons is still permeating Japanese people today.

If North Korea launches a nuclear bomb at... oh lets say New York. New York will be destroyed. I'm sure the next thought will be lets launch our own at North Korea.

What does this accomplish?

It isn't a deterrent for us to have a nuclear bomb. People will still make them because our threat is only to send ours at them. Then what?

There's still talk that the U.S. committed a war crime by hitting Japan with nuclear weapons. So we wouldn't make that mistake again.

So why have them?

First Amendment

I'm going to be writing a lot of thoughts from my First Amendment class from now on.

I so enjoy constitutional law. The bases of all our laws comes from the constitution. At least they should.

Right now, I'm struggling with one of the books we have to finish by next week. I'm trying to be objective because that's what I'll need to do when I'm a lawyer and in law. It is not about emotions and convictions but rather about upholding and acting according to the law.

When should speech be subjected to limits?

In Schenck v. United States, Holmes makes the distinction that 'clear and present danger' is the rule of thumb in speech which could incite actions.

-But Schenck's actions were not nearly as harmful as Holmes wants us to believe. Though he said that any means necessary should be used to stop the recruitment and drafting of U.S. citizens for war, most of what Schenck called for was constitutionally covered as a right to protest.

Granted the case was from 1919 and Brandenburg called for "imminent lawless action" where circumstances were narrowed and really Schenck is not as important as it once was but "clear and present danger" and the analogy of yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre is still referenced in recent cases.

Love and Marriage

Some of my friends are getting ready to get married. Like in the next couple of months.

Becky got engaged and they're getting married three months from now. Not even I think it's in November or October.

When Pat was talking to Smude before his wedding Smude said that they loved each other so why wait?

Why then?

Because it's not about sex people.

Because before I'm a "We", I want to be a "Me"

Because I refuse to marry someone I have not lived with, what if we can't live together? What if our little nuances of living are too much for the other to bear?

I want to have a nice wedding, it'll be one of the only times I get to have an actual party like the kind you dream about when you're watching Disney movies. I want to be the Princess walking to my Prince charming and eating cake and dancing the night away. And unless both sets of parents agree to pay for whatever I want then I need to be working to get the party I'm looking forward to.

I plan on loving and staying married to the same man for my whole life. I also plan to live to about 70 or 80 years old. So why do I need to rush marriage when we're together now and I'm hoping we'll be together for the next 50 or 60 years.

I want to enjoy dating, and then enjoy living together, and then enjoy being engaged, and then enjoy being married. Why would I rush something that I enjoy doing? I want to bask in the glow of each stage of my relationship, I want to learn to love each stage because of the person I'm with.

Thoughts

So I think that nostalgia is strange.

Thinking back for me is either in great embarrassment at myself or just wistful at what has been and isn't anymore.

I feel strange to think back to a year ago. Two years ago. Five years.

So much has changed. I don't like a lot of the changes, I'm not super stickily about the status quo but I really enjoyed my high school friends. I miss them but I also can't seem to get together with them when I'm home. I wish my friendship with them was more solid. I don't feel connected to any of my friends. It's like I have old connections with high school friends, a middle connection with my River Falls friends and a new connection with my college friends.

I always feel sad thinking about my college friends. As in my lack there of. Almost all the people I know are Pat's friends and they're not my friends, they're people I know. I'm starting to get real friends but... I don't really know what to do it's not like I can make friends out of thin air.

Free Speech

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/15/AR2009081500869.html?referrer=emailarticle

This man wrote about killing three judges. Covered by free speech.

Then he posted their pictures and a map of the court house. This has got to be incitement.

In no way should that second action be covered by the first amendment.

Law School and LSAT

It's been my dream to become a lawyer since 7th grade. I was a little lax in my preparation in high school but college has been used to prepare myself to be a lawyer.

I'm studying for the LSAT now, taking a practice in October and the real one in December. Hopefully, I won't need to take it a second time but if I do that leaves me time.

I can't decide if I should take a class or use a tutor to study instead of just taking tests over and over. Anyone have any suggestions?

The Middle East

As I watch the drama of the Middle East unfold. I wonder why people can't see what's right in front of them.

Israel:

The current policy of the Israel government is to treat Palestinians as inhuman creatures. There is continued taking of land and suppression on Palestinians, all of this causes rampant poverty. All the killing and suppression brings up visions of Nazi rule in Europe. The taking of land, the patrolling of "borders".

Why do the suppressed become the suppressors? When does it end?

Iran:

Ahmadinejad: Though I disagree with his anti-semitism and the call for the dissolution of Israel, I don't disagree about fair treatment for the Palestinians.

Mousavi: I think that an unquestioned loyalty to Israel would be just as bad as Ahmadinejad's views of anti-semitism. But the forward movement of social rights, especially women's is the right choice.

Why is equality for all impossible to work towards?