Dragon Costume 75 percent done.

Here it is.  I am finishing the top right now but I am so excited about what it's going to look like tonight.  Hopefully it won't get too cold so I can wear the top I'm planning on wearing.

Apple Pie follow-up

So here is what happened to what (I assume) was a delicious apple pie.  I baked it the same night I cooked a massive pot of spaghetti.  So I wasn't hungry for pie by the time I'd eaten dinner.  So I put it in a plastic ziploc bag for the night. The next day I worked 8 hours.  When I returned home, all ready to eat a slice of pie I found this:

Except it was on the ground in my kitchen.  Needless to say I have a very fat bad dog.  I was so mad.  So now I'm going to have to buy new apples next weekend at the farmer's market and try again.  At least I didn't make the crust by hand or I would have cried.  

Cooking and Baking

I made an apple pie tonight. It's the first I've ever baked.  I've been doing a really good job making all sorts of wonderful food lately.  Like a super health chili and sesame noodles.  All with lots of healthy foods found (mostly) at the farmers market.

This is not how my apple pie looked but I'd like to have one like this eventually.

DJAS Masterpiece

Tonight my families stallion DJAS Masterpiece had a tumor rupture and needed to be put down.  He was the horse I always wished I could ride and show.  He was the horse that made me love horses.  I'm going to miss him so much.

I'm glad he got to live his life eating grass running around a massive pasture and pretending he had a whole heard of mares (even though 2 of them are geldings).  He was always full of himself, even as an old man.  I'm never going to find a horse like him.  I hope you are happily running somewhere wonderful Master.

The last one is Master's sire Hal Gazal but that's pretty much what Master looked like in his prime.  

A good night

I had crab for dinner. I danced and drank and laughed and talked with people I really enjoy.  All in all, a goodnight.

Happy

It's amazing how good I feel.  I'm so energetic and motivated to get stuff done.  I've been having an amazing semester so far and I have been meeting some the most awesome people.  I really recognize how much I gave up of myself and how much I wrapped my own happiness into Pat and his needs.  I realize how unhealthy our relationship was especially the last six months.  None of my own needs were met while I tried to make him feel better about how sucky he was feeling.

After going through something I never want to go through again I'm realizing how much better I feel about my life.  I realize how much better I feel about myself now, how much better I feel about my decisions for what I'm doing with my life.  I get to decide and do what I want without concerning myself with how it will work for Pat while he didn't care how it would work for me when he made decisions.

I've realized how selfish our relationship was and how one sided.  I put effort in while he did what was best (or not necessarily best) for him based on his own wants or how other people preceived him.  Fuck that.  I'm doing what makes me happy.  I'm cooking more again, and exercising all the time. I've taken up meditation which is an amazing tool when I'm flipping out about school and life.

I really honestly hope Pat can figure out how to be happy.  But I'm glad I didn't marry him.  I'm glad I didn't stay with him this whole year because I know that I would just be depressed and moppy instead of happy and having a good time.  I was always so concerned about him. Now I get to be concerned about me.  It's a nice feeling, taking care of me instead of taking care of the both of us.

EUROPE!! LAW SCHOOL!!

Europe: I have about 12% of my total Europe fund saved.  Which doesn't include my credit card which I want paid off before I leave. It's very exciting.  Also, I've been getting Samantha Brown Passport to Europe DVDs.  This month Christy, Steph and I are going to evaluate all the things we want to do and make our permanent list of places.  The wiki hasn't been touched in about two months but when we get an actual itinerary it will be much better. I already keep dreaming of what we are going to do and see and I am over the top excited about it.  

On top of all the Europe planning I have my applications to law schools coming together nicely.  It's been a lot of slow work because I have transcripts from so many different schools and I can't remember what my GPA is from the U of M nor do I remember any of my login info for the U of M.  My goal this weekend is to turn out another draft of my personal statement and nail down my letters of recommendation.  

I've paid all my fees. (Gulp).  And I have filled out a majority of the applications.  I hate them so much it makes me cry a little.  But carry on and soldier forth and all that rot.  (Look I'm using British colloquialisms).