"I'm the best wife ever! allowing the husband to buy a new tv :)"
This is a facebook status of a girl who I went to h.s. with who recently got married.
It angers me for several reasons but most specifically because I feel that a relationship is a partnership. It is not about having control over different aspects of that relationship. You should discuss and come to agreement.
Maybe a better status could be "My husband and I decided to buy a new TV for our home!"
It's two people in a relationship equally together. There shouldn't be a power balance. Now certain things are regulated in relationships (i.e. Pat does the dishes when I do the cooking) but any large decisions about our lives are usually spent in discussion and we come to an agreement about how to move forward. We don't share money at the moment but things for the house are bought together. Like the Desk. We each shared the cost and came to an agreement about what kind/what should be included.
I did not "Let" him get a desk. Nor has he ever "let" me do anything.
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Hmm, sometimes I "let" Travis do things.
ReplyDeleteBut it's not like get a tv.
It's like, I "let" him go play basketball instead of doing the dishes when I cook.
And by that I mean, I decide I don't care if he does the dishes, and playing basketball makes him happy, so he goes.
But even then we'll discuss it like this "Do you care if I go play basketball instead of doing the dishes?"
"Nope, go play."